This book will help you talk about death with loved ones

There’s plenty of food for all.

You can see that, and it smells delicious. Your dinner companions are strangers no more, especially since you’ve had plenty of get-to-know-you time and you’ve gotten your nervousness out of the way. And then your host begins the evening; as in “Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner)” by Michael Hebb, it’ll be an enlightening meal.

After “more than one hundred thousand” dinner conversations held world-wide on behalf of his organization Death Over Dinner, founder Michael Hebb is touched by stories he’s heard. Touched and bothered.

Death is something each of us will face; the human mortality rate, Hebb reminds us, is 100 percent, but we don’t like to discuss it with ourselves, our loved ones or with anyone. Even doctors seem reluctant to talk about it, though it’s an essential topic. Hebb’s dinner parties, and those like them, are changing that and bestowing gifts “one conversation at a time.”

Studies show that “open conversation… about your end-of-life wishes results in better care, less suffering and a longer life.” It’s a discussion that can (and should) happen at any time, to ease concerns on both sides of the table. Such talks also tend to take the fear out of a subject that we often prefer not to ponder, they can heal rifts that may have risen through the years and they can be “liberating.”

Having your own Death Over Dinner gathering is easy enough but preparation is key. Be clear and casual in your invitation and don’t “pounce on someone;” make sure attendees all know that a non-gruesome adult discussion about death will be involved. Don’t worry too much about the menu or the venue. Remember that you, as host, “are planting seeds.”

And then be ready. Here, Hebb includes many conversation-sparking questions to get Death Over Dinner hosts started: What foods did you share with your departed loved one? What kind of memorial would you have for him or her? Do you think there’s such a thing as too much end-of-life care? How would you like your own funeral to be?

This time of year, when you’re heading into the holidays, a dinner party about mortality seems all kinds of wrong. But then again, you haven’t yet read “Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner)”.

Yes, indeed, a sit-down party exclusively for death-talk may seem unseasonably morbid but once you see what author Michael Hebb espouses, you’ll change your mind. Just dip your toes into the stories Hebb shares and see how a discussion of death can feel like a discussion of any other life milestone. Note how these stories gently push discomfort aside, easing fears and replacing them with an understanding for the need of calm conversation.

Even if you don’t want to host your own little soirée, this book will help you have “that talk” with your loved ones, especially after you see the benefits of doing so. At the very least, “Let’s Talk About Death (Over Dinner) will open your mind with plenty of food for thought.

More in Life

‘Talk to Me’ draws from real life

The view from above was stunning. The cliché says that people look… Continue reading

Pierce County libraries poised to help with job search

Most sessions aren’t on the Plateau, but the Buckley library is hosting a course on how to apply for jobs and prepare your resume Thursday, March 28.

Free class touts benefits of mushrooms

There will be two classes: one in Enumclaw, and another in Sumner.

Learning to adult at your local library | Pierce County Library System

In these four-part workshops for 16-24 year olds, you can learn how to prepare yourself for life as an adult.

You’ll want to hang tight when reading ‘The New Iberia Blues’

Your hand is deep in a bucket of crunchy goodness. Without popcorn,… Continue reading

You don’t have to like it, but you will

You don’t have to like it. That’s the way it is with… Continue reading

January has two free State Park days | Washington State Parks

The first is New Years Day, and the second is Jan. 21 to honor Martin Luthor King Jr.

It’s now easier than ever to get rid of unused medications | Public Health Insider

Don’t keep you old prescriptions around; find how you can safely get rid of them.

Local band brings holiday tunes this weekend

The Gateway Community Band is performing Dec. 16 and Dec. 17 at Enumclaw High.

Prepare to dive into the inner workings of a library

The possibilities seem endless. Row upon row of books awaits you, each… Continue reading

Living life deliberately | SoHaPP

Bonney Lake resident Sue Z. Hart will be doing some laughter therapy Dec. 8th at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. at the Enumclaw library.