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It’s like bratwursts with a comb-over | OUR CORNER

By DENNIS BOX
Enumclaw Courier Herald Editor
December 10, 2012 · 5:08 PM
Comments

The election is over and now everybody on planet earth, including me, gets to drivel on about the reasons why the Republicans lost … Democrats won … and cows can no longer fly.

I will admit the most entertaining part of the voting season was election night. There is nothing like watching guys with heads that look like bratwursts with a comb-over fling their arms in the air while yelling about the end of the world or some other nonsense.

I have some useless advice for the party thinkers and doers. First, if a guy looks like steamed kielbasa minus the sauerkraut he does not get to talk on TV. Personally, I think we need to find more woman commentators. They make more sense and generally have more hair. Maybe we should install a glass ceiling for male political commentators who can’t do a hair flip. By the way, if anyone needs a lesson or two on hair flips, I am available. My rates are cheap … very cheap.

The second proposition I would advocate for is no one can run for president that does not look snappy in one of the superhero capes. My personal preference would be Dr. Strange’s cape. He certainly had the coolest cape ever.

I have battled with a well known sports reporter for years over the single most important question facing our civilization: Could Dr. Strange beat Superman? Of course, the answer is easy-pleasy. Superman would go down. Seriously, Dr. Strange had to match his super powers with the Dread Dormammu. Superman would be like wrestling a weenie poodle after that.

Newsrooms can become very heated places when we are grappling with the deep philosophical questions of the day.

Returning to the election, the most fascinating thing following an election is watching the realignment of the coalitions. This is where the heart of politics beats.

Anyone who believes the Republican Party is on its last dance had best crack a history book. Often, the best thing for a party is a loss, and the worst is a landslide victory.

The best news for the Democrats is Barack Obama won by a narrow margin. It is tough to avoid the swollen egos and the pitfalls of a mandate. Check the second term for Ronald Reagan and Lyndon Johnson’s term after his landslide victory over Barry Goldwater.

It was Goldwater’s loss, which appeared devastating to the Republicans at the time, that gave birth to the party of Reagan.

The Republicans in this region should be happy. There are potential candidates that could be the future. Keep an eye on Joe Fain, the state senator in the 47th Legislative District, and Cathy Dahlquist, state representative in the 31st. Also the mayor of Maple Valley, Bill Allison, and Councilman Sean Kelly could be coerced under the right circumstances.

The parties are not the real power behind the tall chair. The caucuses are because that is where the money is and the political acumen.

If I wanted to hire a couple of good prospects, those are the type of candidates I would be encouraging. We need balanced thinkers on all sides, not just a bunch of guys with funny hats a couple of sizes too small. There are good candidates around for the Republicans and Democrats, but it takes food, water and light to make them grow… and maybe a cool-looking Dr. Strange cape.

 


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