Bowl and scissors ready to get snippy | Dennis Box

I saw a report on the Web last week about some guy who did a study correlating recessions to lingerie, whatever that is. I think the study should have correlated haircuts to the economy.

I saw a report on the Web last week about some guy who did a study correlating recessions to lingerie, whatever that is. I think the study should have correlated haircuts to the economy.

I want to do a study looking into the correlation of funny-colored hair in a recession. Does a recession mean more pink hair and, during good times, green?

I see girls with all sorts of colored hair, colors I didn’t even know existed. Even boys have colored hair. Maybe that’s where I went wrong when I was 16. If I colored my hair green I would have gotten a date.

Nobody ever tells me anything.

When I was in grade school I went to a real barber for the first time. For some reason my mother finally retired her bowl and shears. I remember watching the barber in the mirror and thinking some haircut Merlin taught him scissors magic in a back room behind a red curtain. Of course, I was comparing him to my mother and her cow shears.

My dad thought mom’s haircuts were great. He didn’t have a lot of hair to compare it to, unlike me. Maybe that is the secret to a long and happy marriage – it only matters if your wife likes your haircut.

When my daughter, Katy, was very young I decided I could cut her hair just fine. I had watched my mother and thought I could do as well as her, even better, and my scissors were moderately sharp. After my clipper updo I thought Katy looked dandy, but I made the mistake of taking a picture of  her.

Katy saw it a couple of years ago when she was looking at some old pictures from her childhood. Now she is convinced I traumatized her for life.

To make it up to her I have offered to go to her apartment and give her a new scissors updo. I told her I would buy a new bowl and clippers and it would save her a little money.

I have even offered this service to the women in the office. I am surrounded by women here and I told them I would bring in my bowl and clippers for a free haircut day.

Nothing but abuse is what I got.

Apparently the Great Recession must be coming to an end.

Maybe if I buy different-size bowls and learn how to turn hair pink that will lure them.

I’ll talk to Scott Gray. He doesn’t have enough hair that it matters. I can practice on him.

More in Opinion

The sweetest revenge? Sometimes it’s just being nice

Being kind to others, especially those who have harmed or hurt us, comes as a result of seeing others as our equals.

Mental health competency delays cost state millions

Soon, some of those languishing lengthy periods behind bars might need to be released and charges against them dismissed.

Thank you, Enumclaw, for all of your support

I’ve seen these types of things happening throughout my life in Enumclaw, but recently I have been overwhelmed with the outstanding amount of support the community has shown me personally as I prepare for an internship in Washington, D.C., this summer.

What’s new on Cole St? | Wally’s World

To begin, we have “Ann’s Fudge and Bakery,” which offers a wonderfully enticing selection of baked, creative confections.

Expect WA court to reverse Arlene’s Flowers decision

The Supreme Court clearly held that cake decorating (or flower arranging) is a form of free speech, and therefore protected under the First Amendment.

State Dems may abandon caucus chaos in time for 2020

Washington also is considering becoming more significant by moving its primary to early March.

A taste of Krain history, from its dive-bar days

I first went in the place one winter’s evening when I was 8 or 9 years old.

Supreme Court resets the playing field

The ruling on the Masterpiece Bakery v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission case wasn’t a win for the right or a loss for the left; it’s a chance to do things right the second time around.

Supreme Court ruling shows sanity, moderation

The 14th Amendment equal protection clause does not negate the First Amendment religious freedom clause.

Initiative signatures are the new greenbacks

As of Wednesday, June 6, petitions for four statewide initiatives were getting circulated.

Public record battle brings in a mediator

A taskforce is also being put together, but it’s not clear who will be on it.

One almond latte, if you please | Wally’s World

There was a time in the distant past when a friend and… Continue reading