As 2013 approaches I like to clear mental notebook, which is very short, of all my crabby scribbling.
Here are a few news and notes from all over the place.
• Names of sports teams are one issue I need to address. I have been hearing some jeering from Oregon fans about how wonderful their college football team. You know – Ducks this Beavers that… yeah, yeah.
This year has been bleep-blop in the universe. This is a very technical scientific term. Kind of like a black divot in the golf course of the universe.
Yes the Duckies and Beaverettes appear to be pretty hot stuff.
Here is a simple solution to fix our divot. Any state with dopey football team names like Ducks and Beavers cannot be better than Huskies and Cougars. We win by virtue of the fact we have the cooler names. Divot fixed. Now don’t well all feel better. I know I do
• There are very few TV shows I watch beyond movies older than I am. I hate all reality shows. Reality is bad enough without broadcasting it on multiple channels.
However, in the morning before work I do like to listen to First Take, the debate sports show between Skippy Bayless and Stephen A. Smith moderated by Cari Champion.
The presidential debates would have been much more entertaining and enlightening if it had been more like Skippy and Stephen A.
Just imagine the poll numbers if Mitt Romney and Barack Obama were yelling at each other about the replacement refs and the hot call giving the Seahawks the win over Green Bay. Now there is a fiscal cliff that matters.
I have taken some undue criticism from some sports writers because I like these guys on First Take.
Usually this is criticism from a newsroom sports authorities who couldn’t pick a winner with help from God.
Let me tell you what would happen if God did try to help a sports writer,
“He’s God. What does he know about sports?”
I always try to tell my newsroom staff that God is sort of like an editor. He knows more than everyone except my know-it-all daughter, which seem unfair to me. That is some sort of problem with the universe I have no technical term for yet.
Another issue I have received considerable derision about in the Courier-Herald newsroom about the single most important issue facing our society today. Could Superman beat Dr. Strange?
I have proven through superior logic that the magic amulet would put Dr. Strange over the top decisively. And let’s not forget the most important point in my winning argument. Dr. Strange has the coolest cape. We have gone over this many times, but it escapes my younger cohorts. Age brings a special knowledge about capes
After considerable contemplation on my part (about 10 seconds), I have decided it is important to establish I am the one who gets to be right about sports, Skippy and Stephen A. and Dr. Strange and who my daughter should date.
I do admit that there will be times in 2013 when it will appear I am not right.
I think we all now know the answers to this dilemma.
It is the bleep-blop in the universe, the black divot and that means I get to be right.
Apparent divots in the universe do happen, but it all just vanities.
Read Ecclesiastes and have a Happy New Year.