News daily acquisitions and bed sheets | Our Corner

Those in the newspaper world are collectively wringing their hands and tearing their hair over the sale of a couple of East Coast dailies, the impact of the Internet, revenue and other garbled gerunds.

Those in the newspaper world are collectively wringing their hands and tearing their hair over the sale of a couple of East Coast dailies, the impact of the Internet, revenue and other garbled gerunds.

In the office a couple of us were reading a release from the CEO of a national online media outlet that used a string of mangled and malignant clauses to describe something; I was never sure what, but I suspect he was laying off a pile of people — of course, in a proud and positive way. He sprinkled in a few references to the happy future, models and commitment, which really means no future, stupid plastic models that don’t fit together and I want more money for my commitment to nothing.

CEOs should try playground rules occasionally. Say what you mean or we take your marbles.

One would think an industry that is supposed to be about communications would occasionally try that —communicate.

Every time someone from the media business predicts the future I get a headache and run for the buttermilk. It’s the only thing that cures me.

However, there are much more important issues than media moguls and their malicious clauses – and chief among those issues are sheets.

Forget newspapers, we need to consider bed sheets.

I was listening to the women who surround me at the office during the Enumclaw Street Fair and they were going on and on about bed sheets. I could not understand what the heck the fuss was about.

They were talking about buying sheets. I never thought anyone ever actually bought sheets for themselves. I figure they came as gifts or when you rented a cheap bed it came with sheets.

Who knew woman really buy sheets and apparently like to buy them. Like it is fun or something.

I have an economic theory. When God created Eve, the sheet business came with the package.

I know of no male type human who would put a sheet on a bed if it were not for a woman. Without women the entire industry would collapse overnight.

Know what would happen then? Sheet CEOs would come out with a bunch of “we are proudly looking forward to a positive future with our bed sheetless model for men who are really pigs.”

I better go find some sheets to proudly put on my bed.

 

More in Opinion

It only matters how much you care about your community

A reader responds to an “divisive and inflammatory” Wally’s World column.

Living in an era where emotions, opinions outweigh the facts

If you have enough money and political power, you can probably find an expert to endorse your position.

Even with postage paid, voters couldn’t send ballots on time

While those ballots don’t get counted, taxpayers still must pay the Postal Service for delivering them.

Spotting outsiders in our little city

There’s always a way to tell who’s new and who’s ‘in-the-know’ in Enumclaw.

We must move away from identity politics

Mr. Trump recognized the legitimate concerns of the “working class” and socio-economic middle class which have born a disproportionate negative impact from many of Washington’s policies.

Polarizing politics works to squash the moderate middle

The definition of identity politics: “Political attitudes or positions that focus on… Continue reading

Enumclaw VFW cites long list of community service

Our post, although one of the smallest in the state, consistently ranks near the top of all state VFW posts in the amount of community service we provide.

A victory they didn’t want means a fight they worked to avoid

De-Escalate Washington needs to restart the machinery of a campaign to pass I-940.

Economy rises and falls, regardless of who’s in the Oval Office

History from the time of Harry Truman teaches us that presidents have very little influence on the economy.

Most Read