Sponsorship for immigrants only works for the lucky few

Why, Dan Shannon had the answer to asylum seekers from civil war-ravaged, drug cartel-controlled countries all along and didn’t share it with us until now (“Illegal immigrants are a burden on our public resources,” published May 11). How selfish of him.

Just remain in your country and wait for some benevolent, well-to-do American to holiday there so you can use your perfect English to be their interpreter, all the while relaying to them that you would “love” them to sponsor you to go to America, where you could attend university, get perfect grades, and end up with a hugely successful life, living the American dream like all of the other Latinos in similar situations.

Doesn’t that seem as likely as going to Russia on holiday and spending it in Siberia, in February — you know the height of tourist season in Siberia — only to come across a 17 year-old with perfect English with a desire to pursue the American dream? I mean, why would you walk hundreds or even thousands of miles to escape a country you love to take a chance to spend the last money you have on a coyote who may or may not get you over the border and then more than likely abandon you to be caught by ICE agents who will just send you back to Mexico, who doesn’t want you either? Or, worse yet, bring your small children with you, who, after you make it across the border, are taken from you, and in many cases, never to be seen again and kept in cages before being adopted by some American family.

So Dan, why don’t take a holiday in one of the countries that most of these migrants are fleeing from in fear for their safety, see if you can come across a young man who speaks perfect English to guide you in your quest — that’s if you don’t get kidnapped and held for ransom.

While I’m sure that the examples Dan cites are probably true in some cases, most of the illegals that make the trek here are simple seeking a better life for themselves and their families, away from abject poverty and fear. But hey, fear mongering and threats from the “others” who are different from us “real” Americans is an easy sell; just ask Tucker Carlson. Just sayin’.

On a lighter note, there was a man on an African safari when, while walking along the trail, he was pooped on by a bird. As he reached up to wipe it from his shoulder, a native bearer stopped him and told him that that was a Foo bird and if they dumped on you, it was bad luck to wipe it off. The man simply scoffed at this seemingly silly superstition and proceeded to wipe it off. Shortly afterwards and not much farther down the trail, a lion lept out of the brush, grabbed the man and dragged him away, never to be seen again. So just remember, when you’re on safari in Africa, “If the Foo s***s, wear it.”

Larry Benson