News daily acquisitions and bed sheets | Our Corner

Those in the newspaper world are collectively wringing their hands and tearing their hair over the sale of a couple of East Coast dailies, the impact of the Internet, revenue and other garbled gerunds.

Those in the newspaper world are collectively wringing their hands and tearing their hair over the sale of a couple of East Coast dailies, the impact of the Internet, revenue and other garbled gerunds.

In the office a couple of us were reading a release from the CEO of a national online media outlet that used a string of mangled and malignant clauses to describe something; I was never sure what, but I suspect he was laying off a pile of people — of course, in a proud and positive way. He sprinkled in a few references to the happy future, models and commitment, which really means no future, stupid plastic models that don’t fit together and I want more money for my commitment to nothing.

CEOs should try playground rules occasionally. Say what you mean or we take your marbles.

One would think an industry that is supposed to be about communications would occasionally try that —communicate.

Every time someone from the media business predicts the future I get a headache and run for the buttermilk. It’s the only thing that cures me.

However, there are much more important issues than media moguls and their malicious clauses – and chief among those issues are sheets.

Forget newspapers, we need to consider bed sheets.

I was listening to the women who surround me at the office during the Enumclaw Street Fair and they were going on and on about bed sheets. I could not understand what the heck the fuss was about.

They were talking about buying sheets. I never thought anyone ever actually bought sheets for themselves. I figure they came as gifts or when you rented a cheap bed it came with sheets.

Who knew woman really buy sheets and apparently like to buy them. Like it is fun or something.

I have an economic theory. When God created Eve, the sheet business came with the package.

I know of no male type human who would put a sheet on a bed if it were not for a woman. Without women the entire industry would collapse overnight.

Know what would happen then? Sheet CEOs would come out with a bunch of “we are proudly looking forward to a positive future with our bed sheetless model for men who are really pigs.”

I better go find some sheets to proudly put on my bed.


Talk to us

Please share your story tips by emailing

To share your opinion for publication, submit a letter through our website Include your name, address and daytime phone number. (We’ll only publish your name and hometown.) Please keep letters to 500 words or less.

More in Opinion

Don C. Brunell is a business analyst, writer and columnist. He retired as president of the Association of Washington Business, the state’s oldest and largest business organization, and lives in Vancouver. He can be contacted at
Reasons to ban Gov. Jay Inslee’s natural gas ban | Brunell

Column: Switching from natural gas to electricity is complicated and will impact everyone.

Federal Way resident Bob Roegner is a former mayor of Auburn. Contact
Can a Texas-style abortion law happen in Washington? | Roegner

If politicians really want to anger women voters, the easiest way is… Continue reading

LtE bug
Powering the future and doing away with landfills

Here’s how we can reduce waste and generate power at the same time.

LtE bug
Thankful for our community

Enumclaw stepped up.

LtE bug
Crimes by illegal immigrants are 100 percent preventable

Shannon’s column told it like it is.

LtE bug
Responses to letter writers, columnists

Thoughts on the many letter writers in the recent edition of the Courier-Herald.

Carol Spell, "Education, Appreciation and Action"
The gift of education | Education, Appreciation, and Action

Four goals of education: Knowledge, wisdom, spiritual perception, and eloquent speech.

Rich Elfers, “In Focus”
Are mandated vaccinations constitutional?

Personal opinion and emotion do not have the force of law.

LtE bug
Thank you for caring about Philip

A short thank you for those who looked after us.

Most Read