For centuries people have separated children based on their gender. When a girl is born, she is the little princess and when a boy is born he is the little man.

There is nothing wrong or bad about this. Wrapping a newborn girl in a pink blanket as opposed to a blue one for a boy has no affect on the child.

It only becomes wrong and possibly harmful to the child when parents force a child to grow up based on these sex stereotypes.

I grew up as a tomboy. I didn’t like to wear dresses or pink hair ties, I played outside in the dirt and wore boots and overalls. This wasn’t a bad thing. My parents didn’t think anything was wrong with me, they just knew I enjoyed being a tomboy.

When I grew older I took martial arts classes, which many people see as a male sport. The studio I practiced in was next to a ballet studio. Many of the ballerina girls and parents would tell me that I should not act like a boy, or that it was improper for me to spar with the boys.

This is more common than you would think. If you look around, you will see these gender stereotypes exist everywhere.

Most boys play catch in the backyard while most girls stay inside to play. The key word here is “most.” There are many cases where girls participate in stereotypical “boy activities” and many cases where boys enjoy “girl activities.”

These gender stereotypes for children come from many times and places in their lives. It starts with the parents as they influence the young lives. Parents will always have the most influence on a child, but it lessens as the child begins to grow up, make new friends, and find new influences in their lives.

The second influence in a child’s life is school. Spending eight hours a day, five days a week, during the school year is a lot of time to be influenced. Teachers and friends will all either directly or indirectly affect the child’s life.

In most cases the parents and other influences in the child’s life will teach them boys and girls play different sports and dress in different ways. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as children like what they are doing.

When children begin to grow up and learn what they like, they start making decisions of their own. They start out as small decisions of course, but they will all affect the child as he or she grows up. And if a parent was to keep a child from doing something he or she enjoys because it is not the appropriate sex for the activity, that is when the stereotype becomes harmful to the child and can immensely affect the kind of person the child becomes.

The issue here is not what boys and girls should do. It’s what they want to do. Instead of raising a child solely based on gender stereotypes, allow him or her to try different things. Encourage the young boys to try art; encourage the young girls to play a sport. There is nothing wrong with liking something that normally “belongs” to the opposite sex.

I grew up knowing being a tomboy was just me being me, because my parents accepted me and made sure I knew I was loved unconditionally. Even though I had to ignore others and their harsh judgments, I knew that being me was perfectly perfect.