Act in a Godly way when dealing with grief | Church Corner

I have multiple roles in our community. I am the pastor of a church. I serve on the Plateau Outreach Ministries board and I serve as the chaplain for the police and fire here on the Plateau. Serving in these capacities has allowed me to see different aspects of our community and the wide range of human behaviors. As the chaplain, I’ve become aware of and I’m troubled about how we deal with trauma, grief and mourning.

The following was written by Marcus Kelley at New Life Foursquare:

I have multiple roles in our community. I am the pastor of a church. I serve on the Plateau Outreach Ministries board and I serve as the chaplain for the police and fire here on the Plateau. Serving in these capacities has allowed me to see different aspects of our community and the wide range of human behaviors. As the chaplain, I’ve become aware of and I’m troubled about how we deal with trauma, grief and mourning.

I have some thoughts on this topic that I hope you find helpful. If you are a Bible-believing person, you know that we are created in the image and likeness of God, according to Gen. 1:26-31. The Bible also outlines that we were created to live in relationship with God, work hard stewarding the world God has given us and to multiply. I only point this out to show you what our main purposes are here on Earth. Our DNA was programed to accomplish these types of activities.

Why is dealing with broken relationships, sickness and death such a hard thing for humanity? Let’s fast forward and now sin entered the world. With sin we now have broken relationships with God and with each other. We also have sickness, disease and death. These are the things that brought trauma into people’s lives back then and continues to today. We were never created to have to deal with it. We do not have the emotional code written into our DNA to know how to deal with this type of trauma and loss. While it is a common experience we all have to deal with, it is also foreign to our God-created nature. This is why trauma, death and broken relationships are so hard.

The great thing about God is he gives us ways to deal with these kinds of situations. One of the greatest gifts God has given humanity is shock. It allows your emotions to separate from your given reality. After shock we then enter a state of grief. Grief isn’t necessarily a gift from God, it’s merely a reality of our state of emotional being. There is no way to avoid grief. You are going to be in it whether you want to or not. Avoiding grief is where I think we go wrong; we need to allow ourselves to go through this step. The next step is mourning. Mourning is the physical act of grieving. It is the crying and wailing. It is the undignified action that comes with grief.

As a society we do not value mourning, we see it as weakness. Because we don’t mourn well we tell others to stop or get over it. We become uncomfortable when we are around someone who is crying, caring on or angry over loss. We tell them to suck it up, get over it and move on. This is incredibly unhealthy and, I would suggest, sinful.

Matt 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.” Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” There is a promise from God that you will find comfort if you mourn, not if you just get over it. God wants us to mourn with people, not press them to get over it and move on.

My challenge for you all is to think about the way you deal with loss in your own life and how you help others deal with it in their lives. Make sure you are operating in a Godly manner as a support and not as a stumbling block for those who are traumatized.

 

More in Life

Enumclaw High hosts 7th annual Empty Bowls event

The event, held at Enumclaw High School, will help fund the Enumclaw Food Bank and Plateau Outreach Ministries.

A modern fairytale with a twist

He did it on one knee. One knee, with a nervous grin… Continue reading

Read the first two books before tackling ‘Banished’

Well, look at you. And you do — ten times a day,… Continue reading

Breakfast for the Birds coming Feb. 21

Celebrate the coming of spring with breakfast, fun hats and Ciscoe Morris.

With help from ‘The Grumpy Gardener,’ you can prepare for spring | The Bookworm

Normally, you’d never allow it. Holes in your yard? No way! Trenches… Continue reading

How to keep The Courier-Herald visible in your Facebook feed

Facebook has changed the news feed to emphasize personal connections, and you might see less news. Here’s how you can fix that.

A small act of kindness can make a big impact | SoHaPP

Join SoHaPP’s book group this February to discuss “Wonder” by R.J. Palacio. Don’t have the book? Check it out at the Enumclaw Library or visit The Sequel.

This book will WOW you | Point of Review

Wow. Just… wow. Did you see that? Wasn’t it awesome? It was… Continue reading

EHS graduate McNab promoted to Lieutenant Colonel

Tom McNab was recently promoted to the rank of lieutenant colonel in the United States Air Force.

White River Valley Museum opens “Suffer for Beauty” exhibit

Corsets, bras, and bustles, oh my! The White River Valley Museum is hosting its new event, “Suffer for Beauty,” which is all about the changing ideals of female beauty through the ages. The exhibit runs through June 17.

Library’s art and writing contest returns to Pierce County | Pierce County Library System

Pierce County teens are encouraged to express themselves through writing, painting, drawing and more for the annual Our Own Expressions competition, hosted by the Pierce County Library System.

‘School of Awake’ offers advice to adolescent girls

Twinkle, twinkle. For as long as you can remember, you’ve known how… Continue reading