For most folks, May brings happy flowers and joyful thoughts of warm days to come.
My joyful May Day means my personal tyrant will return to rule over my roost.
My daughter Katy, is going on a vacation, which means I get the joy of taking care of Yodie the Yorkie despot.
Yodie has never grasped the concept that she is the dog and I am higher on the evolutionary scale from dopey to smarty pants.
When I read Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” I distinctly remember a chapter that said I get to be the boss of Yodie because I am supposed to be smarter.
Every time Yodie comes to terrorize me for a week or two, the first thing I do is show her Darwin’s book, multiple times. She apparently doesn’t read very well.
Normally after I show her the book, I have to pick her up and place her on the bed, get her a treat and tell her she is the princess of the house and boss of me.
Beginning next week the morning routine starts with Yodie jumping up and down my chest giving me the, “Wake up. I am the cutest thing in the universe. Worship me” look. If I don’t get up immediately she stands on my chest and gives me the Yorkie death stare.
Taking Yodie for a walk is a real treat. We will get about halfway around the block and she flops onto the sidewalk, rolls onto her back and plays dead with her limp paws. I have to pick her up and carry her home, which is a trial for me since that is almost like exercise.
When she was a puppy I had her all trained to shake hands and do normal dog stuff.
Since she has been living with Katy, the dopey little she-devil thinks she is in charge of my life when Katy isn’t available to boss me around.
I was talking to a woman in Safeway the other day and she pointed out daughters get to do these things. They are in charge.
It’s nice how no one ever tells me anything.
I am not rolling over for this terrier. I have a plan of action.
This time before Yodie invades my life, I am going to search the web for an illustrated copy of Darwin’s book. Big pictures I can show her, with a graph showing me at the top and Yodie way, way down on the bottom, almost off the page.
That’ll show Katy and her little dog, too.
I get to win, Darwin said.