Would you like to become smarter?

There’s a simple way to do it. You need to search out people talk to. You need to listen to people who disagree with you. When you get into a conversation, especially on a controversial topic, enter it with an attitude of curiosity. Don’t go into it to prove the rightness of your opinion.

If you are secure about what you believe, then someone who disagrees with you shouldn’t cause you to feel threatened. If you do start to feel threatened, it’s likely you aren’t as sure of your view as you think you are. The other reason might be that the other person feels threatened by your assertions, and they start to get angry — which can spiral out of control.

Being curious conveys an attitude that’s not threatening. Tone of voice and non-verbal cues like body language, are what people pick up on. Become self-aware of both when dealing with controversial issues. It’s going to require a level of self-awareness and especially humility, but it’s possible. When we’re humble, we are more likely to be willing to listen to others. When we are filled with pride, it’s more difficult to listen to those with whom we disagree.

Many people avoid controversial issues to avoid conflict and discomfort, but differences of opinion are good for us. No one has all the answers. We all believe things that are based on emotion, not reason or research. Very few people have ever analyzed why they feel what they do about a topic. In fact, very few people are even aware of the emotional triggers that set them off and make them angry.

Several people told me that, during the “No Kings” protest in town, they were “flipped off” by supporters of the current president. Others drove by the demonstrators honking their horns in agreement, while others waved or gave the “thumbs up” sign of approval. The natural human tendency is to be affirmed by those who agree with us and to be turned off by those who disagree. That’s natural.

Unfortunately, ignoring or avoiding conflict is not the way to get smarter. That’s why it seems we, as a nation, are getting dumber as a result. Emotions divide. Curiosity can break down those barriers.

The divisions in this country about politics and religion have been fostered by those who want to divide. It’s intentional. Emotionally charged people are more likely to vote and more easily manipulated. Show red meat to a dog and it will salivate. Raise “hot buttons” topics to people and they will quit thinking and react, just like those salivating dogs.

During the Nixon administration, Vice-President Spiro Agnew was proud that he had caused division in the nation. Nixon reversed himself and created abortion as an issue even though there was general agreement by many religious leaders.

Nixon wanted the Catholic vote to win his election. It worked. Nixon won. The issue of abortion triggers American voters today. Have you ever tried to reasonably discuss the issue with someone who holds a view that you disagree with?

Remember, we all would like to get smarter. The problem with being able to do so is that very few of us are secure enough to face the fact that we often don’t know what we really believe and why we believe what we do. By nature, humans are not rational.

Entering into a conversation with curiosity can get us past our biases. The solution is simple, but is it easy? Of course not!

Nothing worthwhile is easy to attain.

Perhaps, the solution to the nation’s polarization can come from becoming more curious.

Here are some quotes about curiosity to ponder:

“Curiosity gives space for your mind to explore.” — quote.cc

“Curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning.”— William Arthur Ward

“Curiosity and questions will get you further than confidence and answers.” — Maxime Lagace’

“Curiosity is the surest sign of intelligence.”— Oliver Jeffers